woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
