I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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