oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
