kristin has been a bad kristin
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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