i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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