Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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