I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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