You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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