win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
