Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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