And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
