sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
