You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
