This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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