Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
