How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
