Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
