Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
