I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
