That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
