Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
