He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He passed out mid-signature
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
