There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
