i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
