The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
