Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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