Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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