you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
