I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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