is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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