You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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