Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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