Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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