Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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