i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
