Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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