cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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