guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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