We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize