Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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