We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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