come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
