If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize