I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
