Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
