And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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