remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
