That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
