Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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