I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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