hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
