Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
