Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
