Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
