neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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