Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
