Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
