I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
