So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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