Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
