Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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