and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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