I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize