ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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